By Taylor Stevens
Sources have reported that Blessthefall members recently overdosed on Starbucks whilst on a three day Mariokart bender, without stopping to eat or sleep. Members are currently admitted to area hospital for alleged observation and treatment of severe exhaustion, heart palpitations, ruptured eardrums and subsequent panic attacks. Additionally, guitarist Elliot Gruenberg was also rumored to have been treated for post traumatic stress disorder related to chronic self-imposed solitary confinement. Sources cite that Elliot’s medical condition may have been the inspiration behind their latest release entitled “To those Left Behind.” In unrelated news, vocalist Beau Bokan was asked when he thought Starbucks would finally spell his name correctly, he responded with “Does it even matter anymore.”
Be sure and catch Blessthefall on their upcoming summer tour promoting their latest release.